Manchester

Things that could happen in Manchester in 2017

Our (admittedly far-fetched) predictions for the year to come

2016 is the year that took us all by surprise. To avoid any unpleasant shocks, here are the most far-fetched things that could be on the cards for the next 12 months

Top Trumps

Everyone’s favourite property mogul (ahem) caused quite a stir with his golf course in Scotland, and not for the right reasons. We reckon it’s only a matter of time before Donald Trump turns his eye on our fair city, with his take on our beloved Junkyard Golf. Expect to see Obama’s current furniture repurposed into a golf course as soon as Trump takes office.

Out of the way

Even the hardiest of city dwellers struggle to navigate Market Street. It’s our busiest shopping street, and although it’s at its worst at weekends, the throng of bodies never really slows down much. Pedestrianised it may be, but we think (and hope) that it will soon receive traffic lights and overtaking lanes to restore some order. Indicators compulsory.

Necessary evils

Thought the Starbucks art mural was bad? Brace yourself for the continued thinking-outside-the-box commercialisation of the Northern Quarter. Each cat in the Cat Café could be sponsored by a global superbrand, or Evian could find a way to plaster their branding on rainclouds. It’s a necessary evil – at least brands are forced to get creative to earn their place in our hallowed alleyways.

By the moonlight

Gary Neville and Ryan Giggs launched GG Hospitality (the company behind Hotel Football, the newly launched The Rabbit In The Moon, and the soon-to-be Mahiki); Rio Ferdinand owns Rosso. Manchester United players can’t break away from this city once they retire, so we’re placing bets on what Rooney does when he hangs up his boots. Tattoo parlour? Hairdressers? Art gallery? Watch this space.

Missing link

Metrolink is an impressive, clean, and comfortable mode of transport, but a lot goes wrong, a lot of the time. Although they try hard to remedy their failures, they must be running out of solutions. We wouldn’t be surprised if their next scheme involves the use of emergency horse-drawn trams. Or, you know, they’ll probably just stick to employing really polite staff to manage their Twitter feed.

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